Of Light and Dark

by miXile

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One morning in July 2013, I awoke from a beautiful, restful and deep sleep. The previous evening I’d performed a 10 hour DJ set of ambient and techno favourite tracks in a local gallery. I normally do live work but enjoy the fun of playing favourite tracks for friends. Everything was going really well in life. The sun was shining.

For reasons I’ll never know, except that they were linked to extreme side effects of medication I was then taking for a minor ailment, I suddenly (09:15 am) found myself thrown into a dark shadow world where I could sense those around me but experience only crushing grief at having lost everyone that meant anything to me.

During the next three months I lived in a nightmare at all times where suicide became a constant nagging option. Friends visited regularly and looked out for me though I have little recollection of any of this. Days stretched into weeks while I sat beneath the stars every night, afraid to be indoors because that’s where the grief was worst. Bright places meant deeper despair.

And, just as suddenly, the shadow lifted one night while sitting under the stars listening to loud death metal music on headphones to shut the world out. Everything was instantly fine again and I felt as happy as I had on the morning when it all went wrong.

It was exactly like I had been asleep in a deep and horrific nightmare, and then awoken, relieved at learning that nothing had been real.

As I’ve rebuilt my life in the last few years is a deep confusion as to what happened and why. There are significant memory gaps from that three month period. Apparently, during my trip to hell I played another extended DJ set, worked towards pulling together an international music festival, interacted with people, worked on my own music and apparently functioned reasonably well.

‘Of Light and Dark’ is the musical story of that period and subsequent return. It’s not happy music but it does contain much hope and is filled with melody because it would have been too easy to just create ominous music. The album is my 11th to date and a departure both in style and content from the music I normally create.

The six tracks mark stages of that period in chronological order.


released July 13, 2015

Mastering -- Mastered by Zero Tep
Thanks to Antistack Records for the original release.

This album is dedicated to those who were there for me. You know who you are and I love you



all rights reserved


miXile Waterford, Ireland

miXile has been working in the area of sound art / ambient electronic music since 1988. He has released 12 albums and regularly performs at festivals and events around Europe.

His music concerns location and travel and makes extensive use of field recordings.
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